Ok the response from the pet peeve blog was awesome, so let’s keep it going. Now let us discuss our most embarassing moments. Now I am not talking about those sort of embarassing moments…no I mean those times that quite possibly alter your life. By all means let me go first!
It was my sophomore year in high school and I had just gotten my driver’s license. I was sporting a 1984 UPS brown ford escort. Needless to say…I was awesome! Well there was this girl I wanted to ask out on a date, and I finally got the nerve to do it. She said yes! Everything was going according to plan. I was not very creative so all we did was go to dinner and a movie. Dinner went fine but during the movie, things started to fall apart.
For some reason, there is this universal law that says all boys will get upset stomachs during very important dates. Man about halfway through the movie, my stomach started churning. It was so bad that I cannot even recall what movie we saw, but I do remember it feeling like 4 hours long! I got up to go the bathroom only to find out that, halfway through the late show they close the whole theater down. NO BATHROOM! Seriously, who closes the bathroom down before the movie is over? Concession stand sure, but the bathroom too?!? Welcome to Greenville,Texas. So I had to muscle through ’til the end of the movie. All I needed to do was release a little pressure if you know what I mean. Thank the Lord the movie finally ends, and they have the velvet rope that corrals us out to the parking lot.
Now’s my chance! I will simply be the gentleman and walk behind her and gradually let off a little “steam” but I can’t!!! There are too many people around, they will for sure know it was me. But being the genius that I was, I had an even better plan. I will be the ultimate gentleman and open the car door for her and take my time walking around the car doing my business. Perfect! So I let her in the car with a smile, closed the door and it was on like donkey kong!
I had so much gas I never thought it would stop! I closed her door, bent over to brush my slacks while letting it rip, kicked the tires while letting it rip, walked around to the back of the car while letting it rip, pretended to wave at friends while letting it rip and finally got to my side of the car…while letting it rip of course. Now friends and neighbors, please understand that Greenville was a place where we did not concern ourselves with locking our car doors or even rolling up our car windows. Surely you know where I am going with this.
I got in the car with a huge grin and the feeling of accomplishment only to find my date frozen in awe with her window down. DID SHE HEAR EVERYTHING?!? Not only did she hear it, but she got a front row seat.
Remember when I bent over to brush my slacks while letting it rip? That was right at her window with my back to her. It could have burned off those late ’80’s high bangs she was sporting. I did not know what to do! Was I supposed to pretend it didn’t happen? Was I supposed to saying something? Well she wasn’t saying anything, but I had to know if the window was down the whole time. So I softly asked, “Was that…” only to be interupted with a resounding, “Oh yeah it was down.” I drove her home in deafening silence. Needless to say there was not a second date…probably best. Lord knows what body functions would have shut down then.
Ok there ya go! I hope I did not cross a line with my…uh…gas. But hey I am only human. So let me here your worst moments, so I don’t feel alone like I am right now. Good luck, and God speed.
bart
Ok, I have tears from laughing after that confession.
Here is mine. I was 5 months pregnant with child #1. Type 1 diabetic. I took too much insulin and ended up passing out at home. (This is the precursor to the embarrassment). When I started to wake up, my hubby (or so I thought), looked just like one of our former Young Life Kids (ministry we did). When I fully wake up I realize that I am completely nude. (I got really sweaty and must have stripped it all off before passing out) I am surrounded by, yes, a former Kid from the youth group (EMS worker and first on the scene), my husband, and about 20 firefighters and other EMS worker. We live in a small mountain area and there was apparently nothing happening for a good adrenaline rush, so they were all at my house. The next morning I get a call from a friend who was worried because she heard the news from her husband, WHO IS A FIREFIGHTER AND WAS AT THE SCENE! Nude, pregnant, and totally embarrassed.
ROFL hysterically, Bart. I have tears. That is great!
I have a toot story too, but it’s a little R-rated so I’ll not post that one on here.
Anyway…
@ Fam Jules.
So I can’t sing. No. But I still love to sing. I thought I was home alone. I think I was about 25. I had just left my ex-husband and moved in with my parents temporarily. So home alone..er..maybe not. I was jammin’ in my parents kitchen. I was singing and dancing like a daggon fool. Havin’ myself a friggin’ ball! So in the zone. In walks my mom and as I twirled around and opened my eyes (yeah I was that much a Rock Star right then) I saw her. She was crying she was laughing so hard. At least it was my mom and not the whole fire department and I had clothes on too.
This is going to be funny! I can’t wait to read more of them.
Now, mine has nothing on Bart’s, but it was pretty embarassing for me… a normally very quiet, reserved gal:
I was in my 2nd year at Piedmont… already having a rough year. Just dragging myself to class one day, I took special notice of all the hard work the nice little middle-aged yard guy had been doing fixing up our grounds in front of the girls’ dormitory.
He had been working on it, and always seemed to enjoy it, but I thought “I bet nobody ever just thanks him for all his hard work. And he’s done SUCH a great job out here. I bet nobody ever even so much as notices.”
So, I took it upon myself to show my appreciation for all he’d done and just simply stated, as walking by “Lookin’ Good!”
It took me a few more steps before I realized that could’ve been taken more than one way! But, by that point, it was too late to backtrack and I just thought, “Well, either way, it surely made his day!”
And, I must say, it put a smile on my own face as well, as I giggled (red-faced) all the way to class.
Oh my gosh! I don’t think I have ever laughed so much in my life. I can’t remember any of my embarassing moments after reading this. Let me recuperate from reading yours and hopefully I’ll remember some that I can post. I look forward to the responses on this one. I think each member of MM needs to post one here as well.
While I was reading this it made me think of a couple of things. One was an old commercial that showed this guy picking up his date. He opened the car door for her and she was trying to be discreet and quickly let a loud one rip before he got in. When he got in he looked at her and then introduced her to another couple that was sitting in the backseat. They were looking at her in amazement and she was so embarrassed. I do not recall what the commercial was about.
The second thing I thought about was a scene in the movie Dumb and Dumber. The scene is of Jeff Daniels whi is at the house of a girl he had met and his stomach also begins to churn. He goes to the bathroom and takes care of his business only to find out the toilet was broken. It was hilarious!
the other night, our school had our spring band concert. i was about to conduct the middle school band, but before i did, i grabbed the mic to welcome the folks and instead of saying, “good evening”…i said, “good night”….DOH!…..and then i introduced the songs….and i forgot one of the songs so i asked one of my clarinetist what the last song was….needless to say, the crowd was laughing…..and as if it wasn’t enough to add on to my nervousness for conducting a band for the first time in public….it’s pretty warm on stage when you have your back turned to the audience…i could feel the eyes of everyone…..haha….it was a good time, though…
Once, I was at my brothers soccer game and my mom told me she saw my grandma pull up, and that I should go meet her so that she would know where we were sitting. So I walk up to the top of the hill and see an old lady with short white hair, so I started yelling “Grandma, Grandma” and was waving my arms really big. As she got closer I realized it wasn’t my grandma and when she started passing me I acted like my grandma was behind her and kept waving.
Another time I was waitressing during a “rush” and I hadn’t eaten anything in hours and had been running around for about 3 hours straight, when I realized that one of my tables needed refills. We used pitchers to refill, and as I was pouring the soda into the cup my hand was shaking and I spilled a bit on the customer’s pants. I felt awful and super embarrassed. Needless to say, they got free food that day.
LOL…I have so many embarrassing stories that I don’t know which one to pick. I have a very similar story to yours Bart. I was a Junior in high school and it was a double date with my best friend Mike Miller and his girlfriend. Mike had set me up with this guy who I had a huge crush on named Rocky Norris, who I thought was the hottest guy around. All had been going VERY well on our date and we decided to go to a baseball field/playground and hang out for a while. Well, I too have the same affliction that Bart has (or had). We were running around chasing each other and it hits me. So I’m thinking, let me run far enough away and I can “relieve” myself. Well, unfortunately for me, Rocky was VERY fast. He caught me just as I was about to, well, you know..anyway, he picks me up, throws me over his shoulder, and starts running with me over his shoulder…running=bouncing=NOT GOOD!!! And I can’t hold it anymore..so, before I could say, “PUT ME DOWN!”, THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENS!!! Yes, you read right…I relieved myself right there, on his shoulder, which is right next to his face!!!! It was so bad he dropped my on the ground!!! It’s funny now (I have tears streaming) but it wasn’t funny to me then. Although, I will say Rocky and Mike thought it was most amusing. Needless to say, that was my one and only date with Rocky! And to this day, Mike won’t let me live it down.
But that really is not quite the MOST embarrassing thing to happen to me, so here goes.. When my husband and I first moved to Dallas (actually we lived in Midlothian TX which is about 25 miles SW of Dallas and 25 miles SE of Fort Worth) my husband was away on business in Germany. He told me before he left that the cable guy was coming on a particular day between 12 and 4pm. Well, it was extremely hot this particular day and we were in I think our 15th or 16th day of temperatures over 100 degrees. I decided I would take a dip in the pool before the cable guy came to cool off. Now mind you it’s like 11am so I am good because the cable guy NEVER shows up early. Well, we had one of those portable cabana thingy majiggies where you can dress (or undress) behind. Well, I can’t stand to drip on the floor, so I had taken my bathing suit off outside the patio door behind the cabana thingy. I had just walked in the back door when I heard a knock at the door. So I decide that since I am home alone I was going to peek out the window to see who it was before I go and put my clothes on. Well, I get to the window to see who it is, and there is nobody there. HHHMMMMM, this strikes me as odd, but whatever, so I decide I am going to go to the kitchen and get something to drink. All this time I am naked as a jaybird, but hey, no big deal, I am home alone. So I rummage through the fridge for a cool drink. I get it, open it as I am standing at the fridge, take a drink of it and turn around to go out of the kitchen and low and behold, in my backyard, through the floor to ceiling windows that are COMPLETELY open, I am face to face, NAKED as a jaybird, WITH THE CABLE GUY!!! Now, let me tell you that coke does NOT feel good coming OUT of your nose! So I am running and gushing coke from my nose into the bedroom to throw on some clothes. Oh my gosh! I was so embarrassed, but oh no, the story doesn’t end there. About 10 minutes later I hear another knock on the door. I peek out the front window again and sure enough, it’s the cable guy that I had just flashed the Full Monty too! Well, it’s not like he doesn’t know I am home!? So, I sheepishly open the door. He is as embarrassed as I am by the look on his face! Then he says he needs to install the cable box. So not only do I have to come face to face AGAIN with my “audience”, but now I have to let him in to install the cable box! What do you say in an instance like this? What kind of small talk do you have in this instance? I will tell you it was the longest 5 minutes of my LIFE!!! Ok, I do believe that was the most embarrassing moment for me. Of course there is always the drug induced comments I made to my husband and my doctor while my emergency c-section was being performed…but that’s a whole other story…:)
haha, that’s awesome! lol.
My embarassing stories may not seem as embarasssing as some of these but here it goes…
1) When I was 13 I was blessed to be able to throw out the first pitch at the A’s game. I was sooo excited and because I was a softball player, it was doublely (is that a word, lol) cool that I would be able to show off my throwing arm too. So I spent an hour prior to the game playing catch at the high school getting warmed up. Ok, fast forward to the first pitch….I end up bouncing the ball up there in front of everyone including all my family and friends which was completely embarassing. But my embarassment grew as I came back into the dugout saying “I threw like a girl” (of course I am a girl…but I’m a softball player). So everyone is laughing at me and one of the A’s players came up to me and said, “that’s alright, you throw better then most of us on the team.” (funny thing is, it’s not far from the truth, lol.) But at any rate, that was really embarassing and it’s all on video tape that my family loves to share with any new friends that come around.
2) I was coming out of a restraunt and fell down the stairs flat on my face. Ok, almost everyone has done that, but….I was laughing so histarically all the way back to the car that I said “my laughing made me have to go pee”. So this very sweet 3 year old so kindly said, “that’s ok Sandi, you can have one of my pull-ups.” Of course everyone starts laughing histarically and everyone in the family had to know about this story.
Hi Bart,
Your story just cracked me up. You should have asked your date, “Hey, who stepped on that duck?” That’s what my husband says all the time after he umm… ya know… Of coarse, in typical goofball fashion, he has already asked one of our kids to “pull his finger”!!
I’ve thought about my most embarassing moments. (so many to choose from) Here are just a few:
1) Not to live down the dumb blonde stereotype, I stupidly asked a worker at Subway, “How long is a foot long sandwich?” Yep. Please help me find a rock to crawl under and hide. My husband STILL brings up this brainfreeze.
2) I worked as a checker for Tom Thumb during my high school years. One evening that I was working, a case a nausea hit me without any warning one night while checking someone out. I remember asking the customer, “Would you like paper or plastic?” Right after I said the word plastic, I immediately threw up in one of the plastic bags. My friend Robert, who was working as a bagger didn’t miss a beat. He turned to the customer and said, “Well, I guess you don’t want plastic, eh?” Thankfully, I don’t remember much after that because my manager swooped in and ran me off to the restroom like I had the plague…. I didn’t, just a soar stomach. Jeez… a little vomit and people go running.
3) Exactly one day before my wedding, I was making a quick stop at the post office. I was going to run in quickly to drop a letter off so I parked my car in a handicap spot. (In all honesty, I had never done such a thing. really.. To this day, I haven’t parked in a handicap spot) Well, dork that I am, I stumbled on my way up the ramp and I fell down on my knee. I had a monster cut on my knee and I spend my whole wedding rehearsal explaining to EVERYONE that I had fallen on the handicap ramp after parking my car in a handicap spot.
One of my most embarassing moments involves the lead singer of a really popular Christian band. You might know him, but anyway…we used to work together for a ministry that took kids overseas to do mission work every summer.
We were training these kids in Atlanta and I was wearing this t-shirt that someone had given me from Tennessee. It had a map of the state of TN across the chest of the shirt I was wearing. Well, I walked into the room where this person was working with about 100 youth and he says to everyone (while pointing at my chest) “So those are the Smokey Mountains??!!” Needless to say, I was embarassed.
Hi Bart!
Bart, your story is unbelievably funny!! I e-mailed it to my Dad who is a lifelong and frequent sputterer. He sees it as a sign of manhood and will be impressed with your story.
Bart, that was too Funny!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanx for sharing-I will never look at you the same on stage again-just kidding.
See you June 14th-Enjoy the rides.
By the way, Bart… caught “No More No Less” the other day on the radio, after I had just read this post. And I can honestly say, I will never hear it the same again!
Most certainly ‘real’ and humble enough to ‘wear it all on your sleeve’, my friend!
~Jessica
I have an older brother, four years older. When he left for college my parents and I took him up to his new dorm and helped him move in. It was an apartment with 3 other guys. We were the first to arrive and got him unpacked.
All of a sudden my stomach was in an uproar but of course I couldn’t use the bathroom in my brother’s brand new apartment where his really cool and possibly cute new roommates would be coming.
I’m not going to go into the details but at the age of 13, a freshman in HS, I pooped my pants. What a nice house-warming gift, huh? And don’t you know, all three of his roommates showed up while I was in the bathroom trying to take care of business.
Oh gosh. I think I’ve shared too much. Don’t be surprised if you find this comment deleted when I have a “what-was-I-thinking” moment.
I just realized I can’t delete my comment. Dang it!
Jen…its tooo late. I already read it. And laughed. Hard.
In fact, I am still laughing. Not at you though. With you.
Well, mine sounds similar to yours, only I was in the car and with the family. So, the “letting it rip” part wasn’t all that embarrassing.
However, leaving a little something in the pants, while letting it rip, is!
Once this happened, my wife promptly called anyone should could get a hold of to let them know of my wonderful adventure…
I was in high school, and on a date with my girlfriend. We were sitting in my Datsun(Nissan)truck, out in front of her house saying goodnight. Saying goodnight meant that we were kissing. She was a really good girl, so all we did was kiss. In fact to make sure that is all we did, she had a habit of keeping her arm in front of her chest as kind of a buffer zone. Well I kind of got used to knowing that her arm would be there, so I went to place my hand on her arm only to discover that the buffer zone was not in place at that time. My hand landed, fully cupping her right breast. It took what felt like a full 20 seconds for the sensation of my hand to reach my brain, but when it finally did I pulled my hand away, at the same time she pulled her body away, and then I blurted out the only thing that came to my mind at that moment. No, it wasn’t I’m sorry!! Or even whoops!! But instead I said those magic words that every high school girl wants to hear after a moment like that. I said “I thought it was your elbow!” Luckily she had a great sense of humor and we both laughed it off, and never told her dad who was a very scary guy that worked for the LAPD and always carried a gun.
Not only is that stinkin funny (oh, no pun intended) but I am listening to air 1 right now and wouldn’t you know “I can only imagine” was playing as I clicked over here. I’ve never been here. ooooooo spooky
Great site guys. it’s awesome to see the ‘real’ side of the creators of such fantastic worship music!!!
Jen, this one’s for you:
In my first semester of college, I had to take a bus and transfer to a subway to get to school. I had to pee real bad when I got off the bus to transfer, but for some stupid reason decided I had enough time to stop at the bank machine in the subway terminal. Toronto. Rush hour.
There was a line-up.
I peed my pants just as the money was coming out of the machine.
To top it off, there was no hand dryer in the restroom.
The bus ride home was not enjoyable.
One Sunday morning, I arrived at church for worship rehearsal before service. I was carrying a bunch of stuff in both arms, and my pants were quite loose from some recent weight loss I had. As soon as I walked in the door, my pants fell all the way down to my ankles. Thankfully there weren’t many people there that early, and only one person (that I know of) saw it. I still want to cry sometimes when I think of it.
So Bart, I too loved your confession and was ROFL after reading. Hubby enjoyed it as well. We were wondering what ever happened to that girl. Does she know that you’re “famous”? Does she share with her friends that she once went on a date with ‘farty Barty’? lol Love your blog. Keep the laughs coming.
Lol Bart!
Okay,
Last year I was working stage crew for, i think, one of the shows and it was really hot. I mean REALLY hot. (esspecially back stage) Well everyone was just standing around doing nothing except sweating. I was on the verge of overheating, and then someone said, “Man I’m hot!” Meaning he was very warm. Well I said, “As hot as me?” not realizing that it could be taken in two ways until after I said it. (of course I meant I was warm too) Every one looked at me and then i realized why and said, “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that!” and they said sarcastically, “Sure.”
This one’s not that embarrasing. I just thought it was funny.
Okay, We were working on the Spring musical last year, The Wizard of Oz, and I went to the bathroom. Well, I had forgotten that we had to pray. So as I was comming out I heard someone say, “Where’s Katie?” And then my friend’s brother said, “She’s dead you killed her.” Lets just say I started laughing with everyone else and then we prayed.
When I was 17,my dad decided to take my brother and I for a driving lesson one day. I did really well until my dad told my to turn into a gas station. I turned into the driveway at 35mph and high centered the car on a bush. All I can remember of the actual accident was my dad yelling at me to slow down as I turned into the driveway. He got out of the car, examined the damage, and walked home to “Get his truck”. He came back with my mom and a camera(my mom says he laughed all the way on the walk home). I had popped a brand new tire and am not sure what else I did. Someone was nice enough to help us get the car off the bush, but not before my mother could take a million pictures. My brother wouldn’t ride with me for a long time after that and the bush died. For a long time after the accident, every time we drove by that gas station someone would say, “There’s the bush that Melanie killed.”
I attend a private Catholic school with uniforms. One day when I was walking out of the bathroom and back to class I heard some guy yell “Hey your jumper is tucked in to the back of your shorts!” With out turning around I un-tucked my jumper and dived into my science class. I was really blushing after that one. Now I always remember to check my skirt before I leave the bathroom!
Too funny….
My most embarrassing moment came when I was in Washington on a trip for a family reunion a few years back. I had a c-section a couple of weeks before going on this trip and the incision was still in the healing process. I had to use the restroom at a gas station on our way to our relatives. I thought that I had shut the door good and proceeded to do my business. Anyway, not wanting to turn and risk pulling the incision open, I bent over to wipe and some older guy had opened the door while I was bent over with my backside to the door. He apologized and shut the door. I quickly stood up and wobbled over with my pants around my ankles and pulled the door tightly closed and finished up. When I walked out, I saw him walking towards the bathroom and I quickly turned down one of the isles. I ran out and told my family that we needed to leave fast. They asked what happened and I told them, in between their bursts of laughter, they told me that by my urgent need to leave, they thought that I had robber the place. I have to laugh at it now, but it sure was embarrassing. I am sure glad that I will never see that poor traumatized man again…hahahaha….