Ok the response from the pet peeve blog was awesome, so let’s keep it going. Now let us discuss our most embarassing moments. Now I am not talking about those sort of embarassing moments…no I mean those times that quite possibly alter your life. By all means let me go first!

It was my sophomore year in high school and I had just gotten my driver’s license. I was sporting a 1984 UPS brown ford escort. Needless to say…I was awesome! Well there was this girl I wanted to ask out on a date, and I finally got the nerve to do it. She said yes! Everything was going according to plan. I was not very creative so all we did was go to dinner and a movie. Dinner went fine but during the movie, things started to fall apart.

For some reason, there is this universal law that says all boys will get upset stomachs during very important dates. Man about halfway through the movie, my stomach started churning. It was so bad that I cannot even recall what movie we saw, but I do remember it feeling like 4 hours long! I got up to go the bathroom only to find out that, halfway through the late show they close the whole theater down. NO BATHROOM! Seriously, who closes the bathroom down before the movie is over? Concession stand sure, but the bathroom too?!? Welcome to Greenville,Texas. So I had to muscle through ’til the end of the movie. All I needed to do was release a little pressure if you know what I mean. Thank the Lord the movie finally ends, and they have the velvet rope that corrals us out to the parking lot.

Now’s my chance! I will simply be the gentleman and walk behind her and gradually let off a little “steam” but I can’t!!! There are too many people around, they will for sure know it was me. But being the genius that I was, I had an even better plan. I will be the ultimate gentleman and open the car door for her and take my time walking around the car doing my business. Perfect! So I let her in the car with a smile, closed the door and it was on like donkey kong!

I had so much gas I never thought it would stop! I closed her door, bent over to brush my slacks while letting it rip, kicked the tires while letting it rip, walked around to the back of the car while letting it rip, pretended to wave at friends while letting it rip and finally got to my side of the car…while letting it rip of course. Now friends and neighbors, please understand that Greenville was a place where we did not concern ourselves with locking our car doors or even rolling up our car windows. Surely you know where I am going with this.

I got in the car with a huge grin and the feeling of accomplishment only to find my date frozen in awe with her window down. DID SHE HEAR EVERYTHING?!? Not only did she hear it, but she got a front row seat.

Remember when I bent over to brush my slacks while letting it rip? That was right at her window with my back to her. It could have burned off those late ’80’s high bangs she was sporting. I did not know what to do! Was I supposed to pretend it didn’t happen? Was I supposed to saying something? Well she wasn’t saying anything, but I had to know if the window was down the whole time. So I softly asked, “Was that…” only to be interupted with a resounding, “Oh yeah it was down.” I drove her home in deafening silence. Needless to say there was not a second date…probably best. Lord knows what body functions would have shut down then.

Ok there ya go! I hope I did not cross a line with my…uh…gas. But hey I am only human. So let me here your worst moments, so I don’t feel alone like I am right now. Good luck, and God speed.

bart

Is it wrong to implament my sons toys to help take out the trash??? If only his toy lawnmower REALLY cut the grass…and what if I could teach Millie’s dolls to pay bills for me!!!

-mike

Looking back at the blog, I realized that I have made way more videos than I have actually typed anything. So today I am going to be über-profound. I did an interview recently and they asked me what, in life, really bugged me. At the time, I could not think of anything. Well, after many night’s thinking about what I should have said, here is my top 5 things that bug me to death!

5. Nailbiters- First off let me say that I used to be one. But now, thanks to my wife breaking me of the habit, it drives me nuts! That constant clicking sound! Click click click…I am stressing myself out just thinking about it. And let’s not forget what collects under those fingernails… Ok I just threw up in my mouth a little.

4. Loud whisperer in movies- It was hard putting these in order because, on any given day, this could be #1. Seriously how one can accomplish whispering louder than their regular talking voice is beyond me. Talking on your cell phone in the movies is just as bad. This one goes out to our manger…yeah I am talking about you Brickell.

3. Talking through the bubble- I don’t really know what else to call it, but it’s when a person gets that “bubble” thing caught in their throat and when they try to continue talking they sound like kermit the frog. Am I the only one here? Am I crazy? If you have experienced this, please just take a second and swallow so that we don’t expect you to bust out with “the rainbow connection.”

2. Out of control cough- Now I understand that this one is pretty much out of your control, but man!  You know when something goes down the wrong way, and off we go!!! It’s not much the initial wave of out of control coughing that bugs me. It’s the  random trailing coughs that get me. I sat next to lady on a plane that got choked up on the runway, and 2 whole hours later she was still hacking away every few minutes. Almost pushed me to nailbiting. Our drummer, Robby, has had a slight cough for about 12 years now. He denies it, but I know it’s been at least that long. Everytime he says anything that starts with an “H” he goes into a coughing fit!  It kind of goes like this, “Bart do you mind hhhhelping…cough…cough…hack…help…cough…helping me…choke..cough…oh forget it.”

1. The third sneeze- Everyone knows that sneezes come in 2’s. No matter where I am, if I hear a third sneeze I come unglued. The other day this lady sneezed about 20 times in row with some “tickle me elmo” sounding sneeze. I actually fainted.

Well there you have it. My top 5 things that annoy the dog out of me. Please feel free to share your pet peeves. Is it peeves or peaves? Maybe it’s peighves. Yes that is certainly it. Please share your pet peighves with us. Bye bye.

-bart

We are having great time off the road this month. I finally got my heavy back hung so I can work out a bit. My son William likes to get in on the fun. So he threw a few wild punches which turned into a friendly brawl between father and son! I guess you can tell who won.

-nate

“Dear God, please make the Texas Rangers good.

Amen.”

“…. but God, I do like my seats.

Amen….again”

I was par-oozing the interweb today and came across something we did a couple of years ago. Back when MySpace was a good wholesome place where predators could run free…sarcasm folks…I found a batch of songs we wrote for every 1000 myspace friends we got. Comedy at it’s finest. Enjoy.

10,000 Friends

11,000 Friends

12,000 Friends

13,000 Friends

14,000 Friends

15,000 Friends

16,000 Friends

17,000 Friends

18,000 Friends

19,000 Friends

20,000 Friends

Which one is your favorite?

-bart